Comics, love and life

What’s Up With Non Monogamy?

Today, for Sharing Is Caring, we bring you a submission from a reader! Dan from sexedplus sent us this info graphic to share. We’re excited other folks who promote information and sharing about non monogamy are reading our comics an want to participate. Thanks Dan! You can find more educational comics and graphics about sexuality and relationships over at!

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What’s Up With Nonmonogamy

Sex Ed Hipster: Nonmonogamy is when you have more than one sexual or romantic relatoinship
Red: Like cheating?
SEH: Well, cheating is a kind of nonmonogamy, but I want to talk about ethical nonmonogamy.
Red: Huh?
SEH: That means everyone involved knows what’s up and consents to it.
Red: How’s that work?

SEH: There are so many kinds of nonmonogamy! I can’t even list them all! Someone in an open relationships might have a boyfriend but also have sex with other people. If a couple are swingers they might exchange partners with another couple for just a night. Or a couple might have a threesome. Any kind of group sex is nonmonogamy. Polyamorous people have multiple loving relationships, but there are a lot of ways to be poly too!

SEH: In a poly vee, one person is dating two people. IN a triad, three people are all dating. And then there are four people in a quad. Some groups are closed to outside involvement, but others are open to it. Some people would call a person they live with a primary partner and a person they see occasionally a secondary. But ltos of people don’t want to rank who they’re seeing like that. Of couse not every relationship fits those labels, and some people don’t like to use them. There really is a huge variety in these kinds of relationships!

Red: But how does nonmonogamy work? Like do you ask for permission?
SEH: It depends. Some people will check in before going on a date or having sex. A couple might have rules about safer sex or staying overnight. But every relationships handles this stuff a little differently. What’s important is to talk to your partner and find agreements that work for you.

Red: I could never be nonmonogamous.
SEH: That’s okay! Nonmonogamous relationships don’t work for everyone. And monogamy isn’t a good for everyone either. It’s about choices!
Red: But why would you want this?

SEH: There are lots of reasons someone might prefer nonmonogamy! They want more than sex their partner, or a different kind of sex, like kink, or want to explore a different role. They’re attracted to people of more than one gender. Or they just fall for more than one person at a time. They like the variety and find it exciting to be with more than one person, or they get bored otherwise. Or maybe they do sex work. Or they enjoy group sex. Or they like the sense of freedom and autonomy.

Red: Nonmonogamy just sounds so complicated!
SEH: Well…
Red: And what about jealousy?
SEH: It’s not always simple. But you can work through and deal with a lot of that stuff. It’s important to think about what you actually want from your relationships, because it might not be the same as what you think you’re supposed to want. <3

Nonmonogamy Resources – just a few of them!
Books: Opening Up, Redefining Our Relationships, The Ethical Slut
Communities on Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, and Meetup

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