Comics, love and life

Choice Revisited


THE BACKSTORY: I wish I could have seen my damn intestines. I wasn’t exactly planning a cesarean, but I wanted to accept it as my reality with bravery and thankfulness. There is no one way to give birth, but I feel like every way you can give birth is brave. I wanted to watch them cut me open, but the doctors at OHSU for my impromptu cesarean said they didn’t do that. Since I gave birth, I have watch videos where people had caesareans and were able to watch or even let the baby “walk” out. I have wondered many times that, had I had the time and space in a safe home, could I have done that? And I have cried and summoned everything in myself to let those questions go. I think most of us have those kinds of questions with any big transition in life… What could I have done better, if given the chance, if not so weighed down? Having a cesarean was such a disconnecting and disembodying experience for me. That Marco saw my intestines is something I really wanted to capture as part of telling or baby’s birth story, as well as how torn I felt about so many parts of the process that went into bringing our baby into the world. I am so thankful we have worked together for this baby, from the very beginning. We cant’t control the world or the variables thrown at us, but we’re in it together for Ember.

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